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Results from Dr. Fred Luskin's Stanford University Forgiveness Project, one of the largest and most important studies on forgiveness ever conducted, show that learning how to forgive improves our emotional and physical well-being. Holding onto resentment or hurt disrupts our personal and professional lives, leads to bad decision-making, and releases stress chemicals that can have a negative effect on our health. Yet all too many of us clutch our grievances and give away our power by remaining victims of the people who have hurt us.
By teaching us how to forgive, this book enables us to move beyond being a victim to a life of improved health and contentment. Based on scientific research, this groundbreaking study from the frontiers of psychology and medicine offers startling new insight into the healing powers of forgiveness. Through vivid examples (including his work with victims from both sides of Northern Ireland's civil war), Dr. Fred Luskin offers a proven nine-step forgiveness method. Participants in Stanford University's Forgiveness Project experienced:
- Decrease in feelings of hurt
- Reduction in the physical symptoms of stress, including backache, muscle aches, dizziness, and upset stomach
- Increase in optimism
- Reduction in long-term experience of angera significant risk factor for cardiovascular disease
Forgive for Good distills the essential elements of Dr. Luskin's forgiveness training into an accessible guide for overcoming the negative effects of anger, bitterness, and resentment by gaining control of our feelings. Forgiveness does not mean condoning the behavior of those who have hurt us. Forgiveness is a choice that we make to release our past and heal our present.
- Sales Rank: #408935 in Books
- Published on: 2001-12
- Released on: 2001-12-24
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.25" h x .91" w x 6.13" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 240 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, insists Fred Luskin in Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness, nor does it mean condoning bad behavior. What it does mean is that you "take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel, and become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell." Luskin, a practicing psychologist and cofounder of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, shows why forgiveness is important for mental and physical health, explains how to form a grievance and suggests practical steps for healing. He uses examples from his clinical practice including instances of broader cultural grievances like those between Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland in this solidly researched and convincing guide.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
To forgive may be divine, according to Alexander Pope, but it is hardly easy. How do you forgive a hit-and-run driver, a boss who makes life unbearable, or a cheating spouse? Luskin says not only can you forgive such people but that for your own good mental and physical health, you must. The author is careful to make the distinction between forgiveness and condoning actions, forgetting them, or reconciling with the offender, all or some of which may not be possible. He says that over time we build up "grievances" against others on which we obsess and that make it impossible to get on with our lives. It is only through forgiveness that we can let go of the grievance, stop playing the role of victim, and move on. Through case studies, he indicates how we build up grievances and how they can block our happiness. He then describes the HEAL method of forgiveness, which stands for Hope, Educate, Affirm, and Long-term. Good practical advice for a very difficult task. Marlene Chamberlain
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
“Simply the best book on the subject.” (Michael Murphy, Co founder Esalen Institute Bestselling Author of Future of the Body, Golf in the Kingdom)
“Forgive For Good is an accessible and practical guide to learning the powerof forgiveness.” (John Gray, Ph.D., author ofMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)
“I have read many books about forgiveness; this one is by far the best.” (Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People)
“A practical and readable book that is bound to be of great help.” (Lewis Smedes, bestselling author of Forgive and Forget)
“...one of the most helpful, practical, scientifically documented, books on forgiveness that I have ever read.” (Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., Author of Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All)
“A remarkable and essential book that is sure to become the gold standard.“ (Kenneth Pelletier, Ph.D, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine, University of Maryland School of Medicine and University of Arizona and author of The Best Alternative Medicine: What Works? What Does Not?)
“Good practical advice for a very difficult task.” (Booklist)
“[A] solidly researched and convincing guide.” (Publishers Weekly)
“Straightforward, sincere and essential, I recommend this book highly.” (Dave Pelzer, New York Times and International best-selling author of A Child Called It and Help Yourself)
“Luskin has the potential to do for forgiveness what John Gray (”Mars and Venus”) did for relationships.” (Chicago Tribune)
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
At last, an actual process for forgiving
By Jeanne Andrus
What Dr. Luskin does is actually give you a process, a technique for forgiving. If you've decided you'd like to stop feeling angry, hurt, frustrated or any of those negative emotions because you feel you've been a victim of someone (or even that you've disappointed and let yourself down), there's a methodology here to release those emotions. If you aren't willing to try these steps (and he lets you know you may need to repeat many times to abolish the old "spin cycle" of unforgiveness), then maybe you aren't ready to let go.
What it doesn't do (and doesn't claim to do) is to keep the same person or situation from hurting you again. But Dr. Luskin does tell you that you are under no obligation to forget when you forgive, or even to remain in a relationship with that person.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Easy to Remember Methods for Forgiveness
By Gman
This is a very inspiring book to read. It provides good examples of real people with real grievances and grudges that many people can relate to. It will teach you to take things less personally and neutralize the negative feelings you feel towards those who have hurt you. It does take effort on a consistent basis to use the principals in this book. So far I find myself thinking less about those people that have hurt me, but if I do find myself thinking about them it feels less painful and I am a lot less likely to ruminate about it.
Some reviewers have mentioned that it does get a bit repetitive, which is true to an extent however people who have grievances against others think about those who offended them incessantly. So its good to be reminded of what needs to be done, so it sticks in your mind. Dr. Luskin offers a great acronyms to help those who suffer from grievances work through them, so its easy to remember and use on a regular basis when you find yourself thinking about those who have hurt you. Do something selfish, forgive and let them go from your mind.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
This book is a really great guide on forgiveness
By maplesugar6
This book is a really great guide on forgiveness. If that topic is tough for you, you'll want to read this book. I had a really tough family situation to forgive and was really happy Wayne Dyer recommended this book during one of his PBS specials, it was exactly what I needed. I am going to be honest, some of it goes on a bit and is tough to read. I skimmed through some of the stories once I got the concept down. I would recommend you do the same. However, the lessons on forgiveness are worth it. We forgive for us not for those who wronged us. Hope you find your peace as I did after reading this book.
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